My Story: It All Started with Aliza Joy...

Welcome to Headstrong Personal Training. It can be difficult to decide who you would like to be your trainer with so many options.

I hope that by reading my story, you will get a glimpse into my journey and why I believe I am the right trainer for you.

Who Am I?

My name is Dan, husband to Annalise, Stepdad to Ella-Maria (18), and Aliza Joy (15). We are a complex family in many ways.

I have struggled with my mental health since I was a child. From a young age, I would notice that I would go from feeling happy to being depressed very quickly. My low mood spells have ranged from either a few hours to a few weeks with no real sense of release. I have good seasons and bad seasons, like anyone who has depression.

My wonderful wife Annalise has Lyme disease and long COVID. She can have great seasons where she is herself and the life of the party, to suddenly being bedridden for days at a time. Her energy levels have been a struggle for her now for years, with us learning about she can live her best life.

Ella-Maria has chronic pain and fatigue. Imagine yourself on a really bad day with an achy body and stiff joints. This is poor Ella daily, learning how to manage their body and get the most out of each day.

Sweet Aliza has autism. Before we decided to home educate our children, Aliza really struggled with school. All of her senses go overboard when she is in public, and she will mask the anxiety she is feeling. This causes her to meltdown when she is at home. It can take a long time to find out the root of her anxieties, because she used to struggle to vocalise them. To this day, she still finds this difficult.

I spent several years working as a youth worker in local secondary schools for several years. My daily routine involved traveling for about an hour from Southampton to Bournemouth, five days a week while dealing with the stresses of traffic.

I would arrive home anytime between 3 pm and 6 pm depending on the stresses of the day. We would eat our evening meal, followed by a walk to the shops for me to buy a 6 pack of beer for us to share and some chocolates. Food has always been a way that I coped with my emotions.

We used to have a busy routine of getting the children ready for bed. Ella would need her Mum to help her cope with her pain, so I would put sweet Aliza to bed and read her a bedtime story.

This is When It Got Bad…

Sweet Aliza was regularly falling asleep in our bed at 8.30 pm. After lying with her for 30 minutes, I would take the risk of moving her into her room without waking her up.

This evening, I would learn what a heavy sleeper she is.

As I lifted her from our bed, I carefully navigated the 20 steps between our beds, ensuring that I didn’t accidentally bump her head against the wall or hit her legs on the door frame.

Instead, by step 19, I would slip and drop her onto her padded mattress. The only thing that truly took a hit was my pride. How could I drop my sweet little girl into her bed?

So embarrassed by my weakness, I went straight downstairs with the remainder of my beer in hand and my iPhone in the other. “Cheapest gym near me.” My history with exercise and going to the gym was not great. I had been a member of gyms numerous times in my life, wasting thousands of pounds to not show up.

But I had children to worry about now. If I kept up my habits of overeating and drinking most nights deeper into my 30s, my 40s, and (God forbid!) my 50s, would I even be alive to see my grandchildren? I would do anything to get there.

The alarm goes off at 5 am. I never enjoyed the early mornings, but there was a mission at hand. I rolled out of bed, threw on the closest thing I had to gym clothes, ate a quick banana, and hopped into the car. It was so cold. There were so many obstacles in the way of me getting to the gym. If there was anything that would deter me from making the 5-minute drive, they had come before me. Nothing was going to stop me.

I entered the gym. Memories of failed past began to flood my mind. “Would this place take away my children’s inheritance, like the previous establishments?”, I thought. Rather than admit defeat again, I went over to one of the weights machines. Rather than needing to be shown how everything works, they have excellent diagrams that teach you how to use them.

Putting the pin in a relatively low weight, I pushed the weight with my legs for 12 repetitions.

Suddenly, as I finished the movements, this amazing feeling went through my body and mind. Endorphins began to race through me. My mood seemed to improve, as did my confidence.

So, I tried it again. Yes, sir, this was good!  I moved onto a few more machines and suddenly, an hour had passed.

I left the gym, sweat dripping down my head and my body. My legs are slightly trembling, but my face had the biggest smile. This seems doable.

My exercise habit began three times a week. By Christmas, I was working out six mornings a week. I would always try and go to the gym before my wife and children woke up, as to not take away from our time as a family.

Alcohol consumption would drop from seven evenings a week to two. Chocolate would be reduced to the weekend. My diet looked completely different. Not only did I look different (the part of the story that isn’t the most important) but my body and mind FELT better. I had more confidence. I had more energy. When I bounced on the trampoline with my children, I could stay on for longer than five minutes.

Here’s The Thing…

Exercise changed my life. It changed me in an achievable way. It isn’t about rock-hard abs or bulging biceps; but is about availability for my children for years to come.

Peace, love, and strength

Dan